This fever dream was brought to you by episode recaps of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 8, off of the absolutely brilliant Bland Canyon and its hilarious webmistress. Birthed by the reminder of Derrick Barry and that hideous two-in-one negligee he obviously cribbed from Britney’s pregnant video + Acid Betty in Madonna giving birth to doves drag + sleep deprivation = this.
Behold, pop stars who didn’t let pregnancy get in the way of making music videos, because the only other thing more urgent than the call of nature is the call of the muse, fetus in the belly bedamned.
Britney, pre-breakdown. It’s the last time we’ll ever see her as the innocent southern All-American girl, all smiles and giggles and just a dash of naughty sexiness. And then she gives birth, shaves her head and uses an umbrella as a weapon of mass destruction. Kids ruin everything. Las Vegas puts you back together.
In medieval times, women went into confinement when they got pregnant. Here’s Beyonce, showing the word confinement isn’t even in her vocabulary.
The original trailblazer is not to be outdone. Madame Madonna, four months pregnant with Guy Ritchie’s child. When she says she wants to dance with her baby, do you think she means it literally? She also takes time to throw a couple of bills at strippers, because why not. Say hi to your mommy, Rocco.
I was going to include Whitney Houston’s I’m Every Woman, which shows her pregnant with her only child, but now they’re both dead and both passed in unfortunate circumstances, so… yeah. No. Bad idea. You get the Spice Girls instead.
Emphasizing the power in girl power, this gets runner up points for featuring not just one, but two pregnancies. From Generation Next to having the next generation! Friendship never ends.