Now that Game of Thrones has finally ended, I truly imagined I’d find myself rocking back and forth in a corner, clutching a battered copy of Entertainment Weekly’s GoT special edition with Peter Dinklage on it. I came out of it pretty good, everything considered.
I’d meant to recap each episode as it came but, like a resolution made every new year, that died early. The show’s gotten a bit of flak this particular season, but it’s had great moments too. I imagine it’s rather hard to live up to a level of expectation that is ridiculously high, especially when you’re really working with fan fiction and not actual source material, so to all the entitled, ridiculously overacting fans who demand a rewrite, sit down and wait for the rest of the books, no one owes you anything.
In lieu of no recaps, here are a few spit-takes from the final episode, “The Iron Throne.” It goes without saying that some spoilers may apply, so do not read on if you haven’t seen it yet.
Or do, if you don’t care about spoilers. C’est la vie!
The First Half
Oooh, Daenerys’ speech to her victorious army is the thematic sister to General Hux’s in The Force Awakens. I’m crap at how they do the side-by-side vids, so this’ll have to do:
The biggest injustice of it all is Daenerys Targaryen didn’t even get to sit on the Iron Throne she suffered so much for, and this is someone who once ate a horse’s heart raw. This was the closest she ever came:
They really did do her storyline dirty. I have nothing much to say about the rest of the unfortunate first half because you could see what was coming a mile away.
I like this scene though. At least she won’t be laid to rest in the most ungrateful country on earth.
The Second Half
Pardon me, did anyone see this coming?
My, my. Robin Arryn as an argument for the efficacious properties of breastmilk is quite convincing, wouldn’t you say? This is by and large the best twist the show has come up with in the past two seasons and I. Am. Here. For. It.
I mean really.
I love how everyone’s in their Sunday best. Legitimacy does suit our new Lord of Storm’s End, doesn’t it?
That’ll do, Gendry, that’ll do.
A lot of other things happened, and decisions were made and votes were cast, and people sailed home, yada-yada-yada. This is probably where other people to throw in words like “literally” and “iconic” and “massive,” and, I dunno, “woke” or whatever the hell else the young randomly sprinkle their descriptive writing with, but who gives a crap about that when all I care about is this:
Ser Bronn, Master of Coin! Oh, this should be good. He promptly proposes to rebuild the brothels, of course…
… who will mourn the loss of Podrick. That’s Ser Podrick, Knight of the Kingsguard, thankyouverymuch. (They’re sworn to celibacy.) Hey, win some, lose some.
Definitely a Small Council I can live with. If they decide to do a spin-off show with these four, I’m all in.
Saving for Botox 