The official trailer for Avengers: Infinity War has been released, and I just realized I feel the way I used to feel catching a featured music video from an upcoming movie on MTV. Why? because I’m old and music videos used to function as unofficial trailers. Anyway. It’s here!
I have no idea how many times I’ve hit replay because that thunderous Avengers theme is so emotionally manipulative, I don’t know where to begin. Or maybe I have all the feels because I’m revisiting how much money I’ve spent on the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the past ten years and this April I might end up spending even more. If the movie is as great as its trailer, I just might watch it a couple more times. Or five. It’s like the MCU is a goddamn annual subscription or something, you guys.
(It is.)
So, a few things:
Are we 100% convinced that Thanos is Josh Brolin and not Bruce Willis in Smurf drag?
Teen Groot!
Rocket Raccoon and the fervent hope that Pepper Potts doesn’t appear anywhere in this movie!
Doctor Strange as the 1% who want to know where the hell Hawkeye is and his adversary as the rest of us who don’t give a rat’s arse!
And lastly, but not leastly, I expect the mandatory Marvel superhero heaving beefcake shots to be on a strict 1:1 ratio. Or this happens.
Sorry, paying customer here. It’s only fair.
Saving for Botox 
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