You say YouTube black hole, I say Netflix black hole

Netflix is a black hole of great content. I just spent this weekend getting through The Crown, it’s latest prestige period drama which was so awesome it hurts to think I have to wait another year for its second season. It’s also so awesome it deserves its own post, which you can read right here.

I was pretty tardy to the Netflix party. Everyone I knew had it, the term “Netflix and Chill” had come into existence, but I resisted the idea because well, I’m cheap. You know, why bother buying the cow if the milk is free? Yeah, I’m one of those people. Whatever. But then Popcorn Time went down, the major torrent sites started falling like dominoes and it just became too damn hard to stay ahead of the game and be a pirate. So I hung up the tricorn, vowed to go legit, decided to bite the bullet and get Netflix.

Ha! Dramatic. No, the real story behind me getting Netflix is a friend loaned me her account, I couldn’t remember her password, I really wanted to see what Once Upon a Time was all about (because she was raving about it), I didn’t want to wait for her to return my text and Netflix’s first month was free. In conclusion, Once Upon a Time sucks,  going legit was pretty much a good idea, I got a lot of content well worth the price and this month marks my first year anniversary with Netflix. Sometimes, patience is not a virtue. #iregretnothing

Wait, maybe I do regret something. Because I binge-watch like a pro, I sometimes have moments of self-awareness where I look up from the screen and realize I’m turning into those fat Earthlings in Wall-E who zoom around on chairs  ignoring the rest of humanity because everything in their world that’s worth paying attention to is happening on a holo-screen. Netflix in general and the internet as a whole is a pretty insidious way to make sure I no longer go out to climb trees and attempt to cook leaves in a rusty tin can over a crappy fire made of twigs. Where’d my childhood go? Right, swallowed by the 80’s.

Still, there has to be a way to combine Netflix with exercise. Note to self: must get treadmill in 2017. I’ll be a hamster on a wheel, but at least I’ll be a well-entertained hamster on a wheel, and life doesn’t get much better than that. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the saddest sentence I have ever written in my life thus far. What is happening to me? Stupid Netflix subscription. Quick, someone take me out stat… ooh, look, Dana Carvey has a Netflix special!

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