Means to an Endy: The First Five Nights

Means to an Endy: The First Five Nights

Before anything, apologies for the photos – we unboxed at five in the morning last Saturday so the lighting is crap. Also, our bedroom looks like we just moved in. I really should get a rug and a few more doodads to make it look like a wet dream straight out of Pinterest, but the truth is I can hardly be bothered. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of random house froufrou is always how much cleaning am I going to have to do now? We don’t have a maid and I’m lazy. Still, I really should get a headboard, if only to annoy the elderly neighbours next to us with constant knocking against the wall, hint hint, nudge nudge.

Having watched the instructional video, the first few minutes were spent discussing how they could possibly have fit a king sized mattress into a box the “size of a hockey bag. ” If it didn’t say Endy on it, you’d think it held an extra large Christmas tree. It’s definitely a space saver, helpful for moving around corners. Obviously it only works when you’re buying it, because you can’t compress it again if you do decide to move somewhere else. Still, you couldn’t ask for a more convenient way to get a mattress – buy it online, they ship it to you (gratis!) and you get a hundred nights to see if you want to keep it. There’s a a full refund if you decide it doesn’t work for you, and they’ll send people over to collect the mattress, where it either gets recycled or donated to a local charity.

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Based on box size, he guessed fold + roll and he was right. It’s actually flattened, folded, then rolled and comes out looking like a gigantic Little Debbie Swiss Roll. We had a debate on the merits of compressing a foam bed so aggressively, but what’s life without a little belief thrown in?

The mattress is heavy, so if you’re working with a king sized one, make sure you have help. Or you know, do it yourself, but maybe not at five in the morning, because it’ll involve a lot of grunting and a few thuds here and there, nothing new for the Joneses next door, hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink. Alright, I’ll stop.

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Anyway, once the box is opened, there’s a helpful infographic insert re the steps to take to get your Endy up and running. They also include a plastic cutter, which functions just like a letter opener (it IS a letter opener, and I’m totally reusing mine). Before cutting into it, you’ll have to maneuver the roll into the middle of your bed frame, get the plastic unrolled with the help of the plastic “tab” (a really long piece of extra plastic wrapped around it, think scotch tape when you first use it) then unfold. You’ll need to work fast, because it immediately starts to expand when it’s unrolled, and it’s not shy about it. (Think watching a sped-up video of a souffle rising in an oven. It’s that fast.)

It inflates VERY quickly and is ready for use almost immediately. I was going to give it at least three hours to stabilize a bit, even though their website says you can use it almost immediately, but it looked so enticing, we were lying on it after about half an hour. It feels like being in the arms of Jesus. To be fair, anything would be heavenly compared to our old mattress, but the Endy, which I had been apprehensive would be too soft for me, is actually just right. (So far.) It seems fantastical for a full foam mattress that came out of a box to feel so solid, but it does. The topmost layer is memory foam followed by a transition layer and then the support core. I was iffy about sinking into memory foam and feeling warm and icky, but it isn’t cloying at all, nor is it overly soft and you can almost feel the mattress working to displace your weight evenly. It’s also great at muffling movement; I can barely feel Le Hubs fidgeting around when he gets restless.

There’ve been notes about a chemical smell from the mattress, and we did notice it, but it goes away within a few hours and I’ve no complaints. So far, the first week has been going well, the sleep quality has definitely improved, and I’ll continue to keep tabs on our experience for the first hundred nights, so expect an update every so often!

Once more for the cheap seats in the back: this is not a paid Endy endorsement. I am in no way, shape or form connected to anyone behind Endy sleep.

Random YouTube K-hole: Thespians Thesping Thespily

Random YouTube K-hole: Thespians Thesping Thespily

August is coming around the bend like a freight train, and the year is more than halfway through. I’m getting whiplash just watching the months pass by. Where’d all that time go? The summer blockbusters have come and gone and true to form, the Oscar contenders are lining up for the fall season, where everyone is expected to do an about-face from frivolous explosions and superheroes to grown-up adult fare. No, not me. Everyone else.

Still, I’m up for a few serious dramas, just to cleanse my palate and remind myself that I am an adult and not everything needs to be Marvel-inspired. Full disclosure, I’m not the best at catching up with award-season contenders; I end up waiting for them to hit Netflix or go on sale on iTunes (i.e. I, Tonya, Three Billboards). So here are a few I just might watch, with emphasis on the word might:

First Man – Ryan Gosling, Claire Foy / D: Damien Chazell

I’m on the fence about this one. On the one hand, Claire Foy! On the other, The Gosling being all method and things. I’m not a big fan when The Gosling goes all method and things, I prefer him standing in front of Steve Carrell with his schwantz hanging out, teaching him how to pick up women. Or standing in the rain, proclaiming how much he’s not over someone. Damien Chazell brought us singing, dancing, tortured artist Gosling via La La Land, and now he’s bringing us studying, practicing tortured pilot Gosling as Neil Armstrong in First Man. Do I really want to see another behind-the-scenes reimagining of the events that lead to some major NASA space mission, even if it does have Claire Foy, who makes everything better? I’m torn.

Beautiful Boy – Steve Carell, Timothée Chalamet / D: Felix Van Groeningen

Speaking of Mr. Carell, he’s in Beautiful Boy, as a loving father who doesn’t quite know how to fix his tortured son in a film by Felix Van Groeningen. How could Steve Carell have dysfunctional children? There’s just no way. Not in my head. Anyway, if like me you’re scratching your head, unfamiliar with anything Felix Van Groeningen has done, IMDB says he’s a Belgian director, which could be the reason I haven’t seen his films. (It’s films in Europe, because they’re classy and mature. Which makes Felix Van Groeningen an auteur, thankyouverymuch.) Anyway, here’s sweet, tormented young boy of the moment Timothée Chalamet – who last made a splash as a sweet, tormented young boy in Call Me By Your Name – as yet another sweet, tormented young boy with what looks like white people problems. Someone’s being seriously typecast, you guys.

Mary, Queen of Scots – Saiorse Ronan, Margot Robbie / D: Josie Rourke

Accents? Check. Period drama? Check. Costume extravaganza? Check. This, I am definitely on board with Like Claire Foy, Saiorse Ronan is great in everything she does, and this should be an interesting clash of queens – one who followed her heart, and the other who followed her head.

Young, pretty, the former queen of France, Mary, Queen of Scots’ claim to the throne of England lay in her descent from the sister of Henry VIII, which made her and Elizabeth I first cousins. As Elizabeth I was seen by some as a bastard and, despite her clear resemblance to her father Henry VII, by some as a product of Anne Boleyn’s alleged affair with her lute player, her claim to the throne was precarious in the eyes of the French and the Scots, who were allied through Mary’s first marriage to the Dauphin. This is for anyone who loves the Tudors and a good old-fashioned catfight, and I’m all in on this one!

Means to an Endy, Day 4

Means to an Endy, Day 4

Yep, it’s here.

Actually I’m sort of cheating, it arrived on Thursday but we decided to wait till today to set up the whole thing. We haven’t yet unboxed because there’s a situation with the bed frame that we need to fix and that I threw a shit fit about because sometimes it’s annoying when you live in a place that doesn’t require tools and you’re all of a sudden faced with the need for some hardware and you spend tons of time at a RONA trying to get shit figured out only to find you’ll have to go and do the whole thing again and it’s so damn exhausting I should’ve just done Wayfair in the first place like my instincts told me to do but no I had to listen to the old ball and chain wanting to save  money and the bed frame we have when I was ready to chuck it in the garbage and now not only have we not saved money we’ve wasted time as well and now unboxing will have to wait  and I can’t stand another night of sleeping on the old mattress  that I hate so much and

*takes a breath*

I really need to listen to my instincts a lot more. And eat. Because I get hangry.

I’ll be nicer in the morning.

Means to an Endy, Day 2

Means to an Endy, Day 2

Welp, that was fast. The e-mail said we’d get a confirmation within 1-3 business days once the order’s been processed. It’s been less than 24 hours and we have a tracking number. I wonder if the process’ll be as smooth and as fast if we ever end up returning this thing? Not that I want to. I just want to wake up feeling like I’m seventeen and supple again, with a spine that doesn’t scream when I get up in the morning. Did someone say exercise? I think the hubs is mouthing “treadmill” at me as I look him dead in the eye and wolf down some chips.  You know, just to make a statement. Jesus. Aging is rough.

[UPDATE] Woke up to a notice on the door from UPS, who were sorry to have missed me. All told, that makes delivery within two days of ordering, which is pretty impressive. Not impressed with the hit and miss, but that’s more a courier issue, not an Endy one. I suppose I should just be grateful they didn’t leave it in the lobby. Endy’s website says the courier will make two attempts, so they’ll be trying again tomorrow. Their postman always rings twice! (Sorry. I had to.)

Means to an Endy, Day 1

Means to an Endy, Day 1

My back has had it. His back has had it.

The mattress we’d purchased before moving in, once so brand spanking new, once so perfect, once thought to last for at least ten years, has had it.

We’ve had it.

Sleep has been shitty at times. There is nothing I dislike more than my sleep getting messed with and waking up feeling like someone’s been using my back as a trampoline. It can’t possibly be because I’m on the wrong side of my thirties and my body is ravaged by time and a few extra pounds, my masseuse says it’s my mattress and she’s licensed, so there. It’s the mattress.

I’ve spent the last two months researching mattresses. Trying this, that and the other, feeling like Goldilocks except all the mattresses were in different stores that were far apart. I was looking for a bed without coils, or memory foam or all the little extra doodads that are supposed to help you float into dreamland but are, in actuality, a complete waste of time. The best mattress I ever had was a solid block of foam that was almost as hard as the floor, and I’ve despaired of ever finding one close to it, short of shipping a king-sized mattress from Mandaue Foam all the way across the world.

Finally, after months of subliminal messaging from Casper and Endy, the hubs suggested jumping on the bed-in-a-box bandwagon. I trust his instincts when it comes to buying certain things; he doesn’t hem and haw quite as much as I do. When he knows, he knows. We chose Endy because the price point isn’t too painful and it’s made in Canada (yay, patriotism!). Yes Endy, your ads, which are EVERYWHERE, are working.

And no, Endy isn’t paying me to write about it, or give it any reviews. No one is holding a gun to my head, I just felt like documenting the first hundred nights (not EVERY night, I’m not Scheherazade), because that’s their trial period. Like Casper, Endy gives its customers 100 nights to see if the mattress is worth it, and if it isnt, they’ll take it back and refund in full, no questions asked. That’s what their website says, anyway. So in the grand tradition of throwing money at the problem, here goes nothing!

Trust Fall

Trust Fall

Every day is an exercise in trust.

That water flows out the pipes.

That the power remains on.

That the cable holding up the elevator doesn’t fray.

That the train will be on time.

That no one pushes you off the subway platform.

That the person on the escalator two steps up won’t fart in your face.

That the bus arrives.

That the guy at Tim’s won’t spit in your coffee.

That cars honour the pedestrian lane and the walk sign, and resist plowing into you as you mince across the street checking Twitter, oblivious to everyone and everything.

That you’ll get to go home, go to sleep and wake up the next day, ready to do the whole thing over again.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: the Stinging Sequel

Ant-Man and the Wasp: the Stinging Sequel

I saw a joke about The Wasp that was floating around Twitter a few weeks ago involving Armie Hammer. Specifically that Armie Hammer should play The Wasp because he’s a WASP so he should be The Wasp.

*crickets*

Well that fell flat and it read better as a Twitter post which I can no longer find the link to, so let’s just shrug it off and move on, shall we? Ant-Man is back and this time he’s brought a partner! But before I get into the whys and wheretofores, a quick multiple choice doubling as refresher course:

Paul Rudd is:

  • an ageless vampire
  • the guy who played Josh in Clueless
  • the winner of the same genetic lottery as Keanu Reeves
  • all of the above

I used to think aging like fine wine was only limited to Sean Connery, but Paul Rudd, who is just a year shy of fifty, is still hot, still funny and just fiiiinnneee, girlfriend.  Paul Rudd can. I would let Paul Rudd, but Paul Rudd would definitely not let me, and neither would my lawfully wedded spouse if we’re being entirely honest here, so I’ll just have to settle for crumbs by paying the entry fee at the local Cineplex to see him as Ant-Man. Who says money can’t buy everything?

I loved the first Ant-Man movie. It sits right in the top five of my mental list of best Marvel Studio offerings, next to the first Iron Man and Thor: Ragnarok. So I came prepared to be amazed and left the theatre a trifle disappointed, which made me sort of wonder: is Marvel losing its touch? Is Ant-Man and The Wasp a victim of the dreaded sophomore slump?

Now that I’ve had some time to ruminate,  I realize it doesn’t quite feel like a Marvel movie because the stakes are refreshingly small. In Thor: Ragnarok, Asgard was at stake. In Black Panther, it was the future of Wakanda. In Avengers: Infinity War, it was the existence of Earth and everyone who lives in it. After that crazy collision of galaxies, superheroes and mystical jewels/ingots/McGuffins, we’re suddenly in San Francisco, where the only things at stake are a magically shrinking building and an electronic part available on the black market. (Cue the always arresting Walton Goggins as one of the baddies: “I got the lab!”).  It’s peanuts. And that’s the genius of Ant-Man as a superhero.

Ant-Man is all about scale. It’s life viewed from the perspective of someone who can grow and shrink at will, and it’s the little things that make it funny, like blowing up a Hello Kitty Pez dispenser and using it to wreak havoc through the streets of San Francisco. At it’s core, Ant-Man is really a story about an ex-con who really, truly, wants to make good and be a good dad but somehow life keeps getting in his way.

Slight spoilers ahead, read at your own risk!

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