Category: In Dumaguete Metropost

Do guards still check your bag with a stick before they let you in the building?

The first time I went shopping  in Toronto was an eye-opener. I’d gone in all ready to let a stranger have a peek at my personal effects when I realized there were no human security guards at the entrance, just a pair of sensors. No muss, no fuss, no line-up of people aching to escape the heat and bask in the simple joy of free air-conditioning. Sweet first world democracy, renew thy force!

While freeing and definitely less of an annoyance, I started missing the kitsch after a bit. It does seem lacking in personality. What, no apathetic, disaffected greeting from someone paid to ensure I wasn’t bringing in weapons of mass destruction? Boring.

Continue reading “Culture Shock: Mall Edition” →

The first time I gave a bum some change, I couldn’t resist running the exchange rate in my head. I’m used to street kids singing on jeepneys, so giving money to strange white men is weird. Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?

I was exploring Toronto’s financial district when out of nowhere this guy comes up to me. He was frazzled, hair all unkempt, clothes looking worn. “Do you have change? My parents kicked me out because I have AIDS.” I handed him a toonie right quick and headed for the nearest exit. It could’ve been the truth. It could’ve been a line. I wanted to be on the safe side and ensure goodwill in case he was thinking of sticking needles in me. Hey, I’ve seen things.

Continue reading “GoFundYourself” →

Valentine’s Day. The annual day of love and (neu)roses, when the world is awash in sweets, the countryside is stripped bare of flowers, and the town is painted pink.

It is simultaneously the best day in the world, and the most awful; you either look forward to it, or dread it and think it’s lame and commercialized. Because I am old and doddering, and have experience with both sides of this particular coin, I am here to tell you what you already know: it all depends on perspective.

Continue reading “True Romance” →

Welp, it’s that time of the year again. People pick sides, a lot of mud is slung and we are once more led to believe that no one will take advantage of the pork barrel ever again.

I used to say my vote was for sale, if only because I just couldn’t see the point of voting. (No one paid me, do stop clutching your pearls.) Things can move so slowly in the Philippines it doesn’t even feel like anything changes at all. Someone once suggested that only people who are employed and pay taxes be allowed to vote. I wonder what the outcome would be. We might actually have a president we can live with. The defenders of democracy will likely be out for my blood, but wouldn’t it be nice for once to not have the sensible vote be derailed by a masa that welcomes election season with glee because they see it as a giant payday and not a chance to make a difference? Continue reading “Déjà Vu” →

Dear people on social media:

– Give it up. Mark Zuckerberg is never going to pay you for posting something.

– ALL CAPS means you are screaming and is considered bad manners.

– No, I do not have to click “Like” to prove I love Jesus.

– Speaking of “Like,” it sends the wrong message when you’re giving a post announcing the death of a loved one (or something just as tragic) the thumbs up.

– Humblebragging is still bragging. You are fooling no one with your smug hashtags. #blessed #thankful #gymselfie

– Put away the pee stick. While we are excited for you, it is unseemly to wave something soaked in your own urine to announce your pregnancy.

– PS, do we really need to see the inside of your uterus?

Continue reading “Netiquette for Dummies” →

Whenever winter comes around, the tropical girl in me questions my sanity in moving here. Of all the things I considered before moving to another continent, the climate was not at the very top of the list. It really should’ve been. I knew nothing, Jon Snow.

This is why it took me a while to finally watch Frozen. That movie is a crock. There is no way one can have that much fun in the middle of a blizzard dressed in a gossamer gown. Disney is lying to us all!

Freshly fallen snow looks awesome. It looks exactly like a Christmas card. But a Christmas card doesn’t show you how it looks when the snow turns to dirty slush and forms big pools of icy water when it melts. It doesn’t tell you that these pools then refreeze overnight, turning your front porch into a giant ice slick just waiting for you to slip and break a hip.

Continue reading “Winter, Or Why My Life Choices Suck Whenever It Starts to Snow” →